2000
General Conference Session
Biblical
Teachings on Marriage
The
Origin of Marriage-Marriage is a divine institution established
by God Himself before the fall when everything, including marriage, was
"very good." (Gen. 1:31). "Therefore shall a man leave his father and
his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"
(Gen. 2:24). "God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution
has for its originator the Creator of the universe. 'Marriage is honourable';
it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two
institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates
of Paradise."-The Adventist Home, pp. 25, 26.
The
Oneness of Marriage-God intended the marriage of Adam and Eve
to be the pattern for all future marriages, and Christ endorsed this original
concept saying: "Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning
made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall
be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore
God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:4-6).
The
Permanence of Marriage-Marriage is a lifelong commitment of husband
and wife to each other and between the couple and God (Mark 10:2-9; Rom.
7:2). Paul indicates that the commitment which Christ has for the church
is a model of the relationship between husband and wife (Eph. 5:31, 32).
God intended the marriage relationship to be as permanent as Christ's
relationship with the church.
Sexual
Intimacy in Marriage-Sexual intimacy within marriage is a sacred
gift from God to the human family. It is an integral part of marriage,
reserved for marriage only (Gen. 2:24; Prov. 5:5-20). Such intimacy, designed
to be shared exclusively between husband and wife, promotes ever-increasing
closeness, happiness, and security, and provides for the perpetuation
of the human race. In addition to being monogamous, marriage, as instituted
by God, is a heterosexual relationship (Matt. 19:4, 5).
Partnership
in Marriage-Unity in marriage is achieved by mutual respect and
love. No one is superior (Eph. 5:21-28). "Marriage, a union for life,
is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that
Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife
are to manifest toward each other."-Testimonies, vol. 7, p. 46.
God's Word condemns violence in personal relationships (Gen. 6:11, 13;
Ps. 11:5; Isa. 58:4, 5; Rom. 13:10; Gal. 5:19-21). It is the spirit of
Christ to love and accept, to seek to affirm and build others up, rather
than to abuse or demean them (Rom. 12:10; 14:19; Eph. 4:26; 5:28, 29;
Col. 3:8-14; 1 Thess. 5:11). There is no room among Christ's followers
for tyrannical control and the abuse of power (Matt. 20:25-28; Eph. 6:4).
Violence in the setting of marriage and family is abhorrent (see Adventist
Home, p. 343).
"Neither husband nor wife is to make
a plea for rulership. The Lord has laid down the principle that is to
guide in this matter. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes
the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are
to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined never to grieve
or injure the other."-Testimonies, vol. 7, p. 47.
The
Effects of the Fall on Marriage-The entrance of sin adversely
affected marriage. When Adam and Eve sinned, they lost the oneness which
they had known with God and with one another (Gen. 3:6-24). Their relationship
became marked with guilt, shame, blame, and pain. Wherever sin reigns,
its sad effects on marriage include alienation, desertion, unfaithfulness,
neglect, abuse, violence, separation, divorce, domination of one partner
by the other, and sexual perversion. Marriages involving more than one
spouse are also an expression of the effects of sin on the institution
of marriage. Such marriages, although practiced in Old Testament times,
are not in harmony with the divine design. God's plan for marriage requires
His people to transcend the mores of popular culture which are in conflict
with the biblical view.
Restoration
and Healing-1. Divine Ideal to be Restored in Christ -
In redeeming the world from sin and its consequences, God also seeks to
restore marriage to its original ideal. This is envisioned for the lives
of those who have been born again into the kingdom of Christ, those whose
hearts are being sanctified by the Holy Spirit and who have as their primary
purpose in life the exaltation of the Lord Jesus Christ. (See also 1 Peter
3:7; Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, p. 64.)
2.
Oneness and Equality to be Restored in Christ-The gospel emphasizes
the love and submission of husband and wife to one another (1 Cor. 7:3,
4; Eph. 5:21). The model for the husband's leadership is the self-sacrificial
love and service that Christ gives to the church (Eph. 5:24, 25). Both
Peter and Paul speak about the need for respect in the marriage relationship
(1 Peter 3:7; Eph. 5:22, 23).
3. Grace Available for All-God
seeks to restore to wholeness and reconcile to Himself all who have failed
to attain the divine standard (2 Cor. 5:19). This includes those who have
experienced broken marriage relationships.
4. The Role of the Church-Moses
in the Old Testament and Paul in the New Testament dealt with the problems
caused by broken marriages (Deut. 24:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:11). Both, while upholding
and affirming the ideal, worked constructively and redemptively with those
who had fallen short of the divine standard. Similarly, the church today
is called to uphold and affirm God's ideal for marriage and, at the same
time, to be a reconciling, forgiving, healing community, showing understanding
and compassion when brokenness occurs.
Biblical
Teachings on Divorce
God's
Original Purpose-Divorce is contrary to God's original purpose
in creating marriage (Matt. 19:3-8; Mark 10:2-9), but the Bible is not
silent about it. Because divorce occurred as part of the fallen human
experience, biblical legislation was given to limit the damage it caused
(Deut. 24:1-4). The Bible consistently seeks to elevate marriage and to
discourage divorce by describing the joys of married love and faithfulness
(Prov. 5:18-20; Song of Sol. 2:16; 4:9-5:1), by referring to the marriage-like
relationship of God with His people (Isa. 54:5; Jer. 3:1), by focusing
on the possibilities of forgiveness and marital renewal (Hosea 3:1-3),
and by indicating God's abhorrence of divorce and the misery it causes
(Mal. 2:15, 16). Jesus restored the creation view of marriage as a lifelong
commitment between a man and a woman and between the couple and God (Matt.
19:4-6; Mark 10:6-9). Much biblical instruction affirms marriage and seeks
to correct problems which tend to weaken or destroy the foundation of
marriage (Eph. 5:21-33; Heb. 13:4; 1 Peter 3:7).
Marriages
can be Destroyed-Marriage rests on principles of love, loyalty,
exclusiveness, trust, and support upheld by both partners in obedience
to God (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:6; 1 Cor. 13; Eph. 5:21-29; 1 Thess. 4:1-7).
When these principles are violated, the marriage is endangered. Scripture
acknowledges that tragic circumstances can destroy marriage.
Divine
Grace-Divine grace is the only remedy for the brokenness of divorce.
When marriage fails, former partners should be encouraged to examine their
experience and to seek God's will for their lives. God provides comfort
to those who have been wounded. God also accepts the repentance of individuals
who commit the most destructive sins, even those that carry with them
irreparable consequences (2 Sam. 11; 12; Ps. 34:18; 86:5; Joel 2:12, 13;
John 8:2-11; 1 John 1:9).
Grounds
for Divorce-Scripture recognizes adultery and/or fornication (Matt.
5:32) as well as abandonment by an unbelieving partner (1 Cor. 7:10-15)
as grounds for divorce.
Biblical
Teachings on Remarriage
There
is no direct teaching in Scripture regarding remarriage after divorce.
However, there is a strong implication in Jesus' words in Matthew 19:9
that would allow the remarriage of one who has remained faithful, but
whose spouse has been unfaithful to the marriage vow.
The
Church's Position on Divorce and Remarriage
Acknowledging
the teachings of the Bible on marriage, the church is aware that marriage
relationships are less than ideal in many cases. The problem of divorce
and remarriage can be seen in its true light only as it is viewed from
Heaven's viewpoint and against the background of the Garden of Eden. Central
to God's holy plan for our world was the creation of beings made in His
image who would multiply and replenish the earth and live together in
purity, harmony, and happiness. He brought forth Eve from the side of
Adam and gave her to Adam as his wife. Thus was marriage instituted-God
the author of the institution, God the officiator at the first marriage.
After the Lord had revealed to Adam that Eve was verily bone of his bone
and flesh of his flesh, there could never arise a doubt in his mind that
they twain were one flesh. Nor could ever a doubt arise in the mind of
either of the holy pair that God intended that their home should endure
forever.
The
church adheres to this view of marriage and home without reservation,
believing that any lowering of this high view is to that extent a lowering
of the heavenly ideal. The belief that marriage is a divine institution
rests upon the Holy Scriptures. Accordingly, all thinking and reasoning
in the perplexing field of divorce and remarriage must constantly be harmonized
with that holy ideal revealed in Eden.
The church believes in the law of
God; it also believes in the forgiving mercy of God. It believes that
victory and salvation can as surely be found by those who have transgressed
in the matter of divorce and remarriage as by those who have failed in
any other of God's holy standards. Nothing presented here is intended
to minimize the mercy of God or the forgiveness of God. In the fear of
the Lord, the church here sets forth the principles and practices that
should apply in this matter of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
Though marriage was first performed
by God alone, it is recognized that people now live under civil governments
on this earth; therefore, marriage has both a divine and a civil aspect.
The divine aspect is governed by the laws of God, the civil by the laws
of the state.
In harmony with these teachings, the
following statements set forth the position of the Seventh-day Adventist
Church:
1. When Jesus said, "Let not man put
asunder," He established a rule of conduct for the church under the dispensation
of grace which must transcend all civil enactments which would go beyond
His interpretation of the divine law governing the marriage relation.
Here He gives a rule to His followers who should adhere to it whether
or not the state or prevailing custom allows larger liberty. "In the Sermon
on the Mount Jesus declared plainly that there could be no dissolution
of the marriage tie, except for unfaithfulness to the marriage vow."-Thoughts
From the Mount of Blessing, p. 63. (Matt. 5:32; 19:9.)
2. Unfaithfulness to the marriage
vow has generally been seen to mean adultery and/or fornication. However,
the New Testament word for fornication includes certain other sexual irregularities.
(1 Cor. 6:9; 1 Tim. 1:9, 10; Rom. 1:24-27.) Therefore, sexual perversions,
including incest, child sexual abuse, and homosexual practices, are also
recognized as a misuse of sexual powers and a violation of the divine
intention in marriage. As such they are just cause for separation or divorce.
Even though the Scriptures allow divorce
for the reasons mentioned above, as well as for abandonment by an unbelieving
spouse (1 Cor. 7:10-15), earnest endeavors should be made by the church
and those concerned to effect a reconciliation, urging the spouses to
manifest toward each other a Christ-like spirit of forgiveness and restoration.
The church is urged to relate lovingly and redemptively toward the couple
in order to assist in the reconciliation process.
3.
In the event that reconciliation is not effected, the spouse who has remained
faithful to the spouse who violated the marriage vow has the biblical
right to secure a divorce and also to remarry.
4. A spouse who has violated the marriage
vow (see sections 1. and 2. above) shall be subject to discipline by the
local church. (See Chapter 14, Church Discipline, pp. 182-190.)
If genuinely repentant, the spouse may be placed under censure for a stated
period of time rather than removed from church membership. A spouse who
gives no evidence of full and sincere repentance shall be removed from
church membership. In case the violation has brought public reproach on
the cause of God, the church, in order to maintain its high standards
and good name, may remove the individual from church membership even though
there is evidence of repentance.
Any of these forms of discipline shall
be applied by the local church in a manner that would seek to attain the
two objectives of church discipline-to correct and redeem. In the gospel
of Christ, the redemptive side of discipline is always tied to an authentic
transformation of the sinner into a new creature in Jesus Christ.
5. A spouse who has violated the marriage
vow and who is divorced does not have the moral right to marry another
while the spouse who has been faithful to the marriage vow still lives
and remains unmarried and chaste. The person who does so shall be removed
from church membership. The person whom he/she marries, if a member, shall
also be removed from church membership.
6. It is recognized that sometimes
marriage relations deteriorate to the point where it is better for a husband
and wife to separate. "To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord,
that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let
her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)-and that the husband
should not divorce his wife" (1 Cor. 7:10, 11, RSV). In many such cases
the custody of the children, the adjustment of property rights, or even
personal protection may make necessary a change in marital status. In
such cases it may be permissible to secure what is known in some countries
as a legal separation. However, in some civil jurisdictions such a separation
can be secured only by divorce.
A separation or divorce which results
from factors such as physical violence or in which "unfaithfulness to
the marriage vow" (see sections 1. and 2. above) is not involved, does
not give either one the scriptural right to remarry, unless in the meantime
the other party has remarried, committed adultery or fornication, or died.
Should a member who has been thus divorced remarry without these biblical
grounds, he/she shall be removed from church membership; and the one whom
he/she marries, if a member, shall also be removed from church membership.
(See pp. 184, 185.)
7. A spouse who has violated the marriage
vow and has been divorced and removed from church membership and who has
remarried, or a person who has been divorced on other than the grounds
set forth in sections 1. and 2. above and has remarried, and who has been
removed from church membership, shall be considered ineligible for membership
except as hereinafter provided.
8. The marriage contract is not only
sacred but also infinitely more complex than ordinary contracts in its
possible involvements; for example, with children. Hence, in a request
for readmittance to church membership, the options available to the repentant
may be severely limited. Before final action is taken by the local church,
the request for readmittance shall be brought by the church through the
pastor or district leader to the conference/mission/field committee for
counsel and recommendation as to any possible steps that the repentant
one, or ones, may take to secure such readmittance.
9. Readmittance to membership of those
who have been removed from church membership for reasons given in the
foregoing sections shall normally be on the basis of rebaptism. (See p.
189.)
10. When a person who has been removed from membership
is readmitted to church membership, as provided in section 8., every care
should be exercised to safeguard the unity and harmony of the church by
not giving such a person responsibility as a leader; especially in an
office which requires the rite of ordination, unless by very careful counsel
with the conference/mission/field administration.
11. No Seventh-day Adventist minister has the
right to officiate at the remarriage of any person who, under the stipulation
of the preceding paragraphs, has no scriptural right to remarry.
Local
Church Ministry for Families
The
church as a redemptive agency of Christ is to minister to its members
in all of their needs and to nurture every one so that all may grow into
a mature Christian experience. This is particularly true when members
face lifelong decisions such as marriage and distressful experiences such
as divorce. When a couple's marriage is in danger of breaking down, every
effort should be made by the partners and those in the church or family
who minister to them to bring about their reconciliation in harmony with
divine principles for restoring wounded relationships (Hosea 3:1-3; 1
Cor. 7:10, 11; 13:4-7; Gal. 6:1).
Resources are available through the
local church or other church organizations which can be of assistance
to members in the development of a strong Christian home. These resources
include: (1) programs of orientation for couples engaged to be married,
(2) programs of instruction for married couples with their families, and
(3) programs of support for broken families and divorced individuals.
Pastoral support is vital in the area
of instruction and orientation in the case of marriage, and healing and
restoration in the case of divorce. The pastoral function in the latter
case is both disciplinary and supportive. That function includes the sharing
of information relevant to the case; however, the disclosure of sensitive
information should be done with great discretion. This ethical concern
alone should not be the grounds for avoiding disciplinary actions established
in sections 1. to 11. above.
Church members are called to forgive
and accept those who have failed as God has forgiven them (Isa. 54:5-8;
Matt. 6:14, 15; Eph. 4:32). The Bible urges patience, compassion, and
forgiveness in the Christian care of those who have erred (Matt. 18:10-20;
Gal. 6:1, 2). During the time when individuals are under discipline, either
by censure or by being removed from membership, the church, as an instrument
of God's mission, shall make every effort to maintain caring and spiritually
nurturing contact with them.